There is no single feeling worse for a lacrosse player than having a tough game, knowing they had a tough game, and then having to hear about that tough game in a long car ride home from their parent who often has never played or is out of touch with the game.
That car ride — more than a bad pass or missed shot — is often the fastest way to drain the fun out of the game.
Most parents overcoach for the same reason they do everything else: they want to help. But support and coaching aren’t the same thing — and confusing the two can quietly hurt a player’s confidence and enjoyment.
The Car Ride Rule
For players, the car ride home is emotional territory. They’re processing the game, replaying mistakes, and are often already harder on themselves than anyone else could be.
When that space turns into a postgame breakdown — especially from someone who doesn’t fully understand the sport — it doesn’t motivate. It is overwhelming and often infuriating for the kid. As hard as it can be, sometimes the best thing a parent can say is nothing at all.
Now, if your kid has cheap shotted someone, displayed a lack of effort or toughness, or done things that represent poor character, go ahead and let it rip. However, missing a couple of shots or dropping a pass isn’t something that will be fixed by a post-game berating from the angry parent.
Parents Are Fans First
Your child already has coaches which, in theory, should be in a position to provide more than adequate feedback and constructive criticism. What they need from parents is something different.
They need:
- Encouragement
- Perspective
- Stability
Be the person who cheers, not the one who critiques. Be the safe place — not another voice telling them what they did wrong.
Let Coaches Coach
Even well-intentioned technical advice can cause confusion.
When parents offer instructions that conflict with what a coach or trainer is teaching, players get caught in the middle. They start second-guessing, confidence erodes, and progress slows.
If you don’t fully understand the sport — and even if you do — it’s okay to step back and trust the process.
Definitely Don’t Be the Ref
Complaining about refs teaches players to externalize responsibility. It shifts focus away from what they can control and toward what they can’t. Over time, that mindset becomes a habit — and it’s not one that helps athletes improve.
Great players own their performance. Parents can help reinforce that by not blaming refs (especially from the sidelines during games). PS – if you want to know the number one way to stop your kid from being recruited, it is to yell at refs from the sidelines.
What Support Actually Looks Like
Supporting your child doesn’t require technical insight.
It sounds like:
- “I love watching you play.”
- “I’m proud of you.”
- “Do you want to talk about the game, or just relax?”
Those moments build trust. And when players feel supported instead of evaluated, they play more free, learn faster, and enjoy the game more.
Why This Matters Long-Term
Kids don’t quit sports because of one bad game. They quit because the environment stops being fun.
The players who stick with lacrosse the longest are usually the ones whose parents create space — space to fail, space to grow, and space to love the game on their own terms.
At NextRep, we believe development works best when everyone plays their role. Coaches coach. Players play. Parents support.
And when that balance is right, the game stays what it should be: challenging, meaningful, and fun.